Trials of Ted Haggard (part 3 - his kids)
I was really interested to hear the response of Ted's adult child
ren to the revelations about their father. It was a bit uncomfortable to even listen to them describe how they felt hearing about their father's sexual struggles. But the big thing that his daughter said was that she felt...relief.
Relief?? Yes, relief. She shared how growing up as the daughter of this iconic person who always seemed to be so perfect in every way was a real burden to her. Thus, hearing that her father had fallen from that pedestal brought her a feeling of relief from feeling like she had to live up to that standard of perfection. In some strange way, learning that her father had made some incredible mistakes actually helped her to feel like she could actually have a real relationship with him.
And all the time, Ted Haggard had lived his life feeling like if he ever shared his struggles honestly with people he would not have been accepted. So he put a big false persona around who he really was, trying to live up to the expectations everyone had of him, and that he had created for himself. But what really happened was he cut himself off from real relationships with people.
What a warning to anyone in public ministry positions. I myself know the battle of feeling like I need to meet people's expectations. Feeling like "if they really knew what I thought about this, or what I believe about that - they wouldn't accept me," ended up choking my ministry career a couple of years ago.
What I learn from Haggard and his family is that the stakes are high when you start living as a persona instead of a person.
ren to the revelations about their father. It was a bit uncomfortable to even listen to them describe how they felt hearing about their father's sexual struggles. But the big thing that his daughter said was that she felt...relief.Relief?? Yes, relief. She shared how growing up as the daughter of this iconic person who always seemed to be so perfect in every way was a real burden to her. Thus, hearing that her father had fallen from that pedestal brought her a feeling of relief from feeling like she had to live up to that standard of perfection. In some strange way, learning that her father had made some incredible mistakes actually helped her to feel like she could actually have a real relationship with him.
And all the time, Ted Haggard had lived his life feeling like if he ever shared his struggles honestly with people he would not have been accepted. So he put a big false persona around who he really was, trying to live up to the expectations everyone had of him, and that he had created for himself. But what really happened was he cut himself off from real relationships with people.
What a warning to anyone in public ministry positions. I myself know the battle of feeling like I need to meet people's expectations. Feeling like "if they really knew what I thought about this, or what I believe about that - they wouldn't accept me," ended up choking my ministry career a couple of years ago.
What I learn from Haggard and his family is that the stakes are high when you start living as a persona instead of a person.
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