A Long Obedience In The Same Direction

We've had a very difficult past few years navigating a lot of pain and brokenness in our relationship with our son.  Recently, after a long time of silence between us, we spent some time together.  People around me who know how difficult it has been talked with me about the situation, and I heard a few of them say things like "You and Ann are so strong."  "I can't imagine how you two have remained joyful through this."  "I think you've handled this really well." Those are obviously nice things to hear, since there is regularly a voice in the back of my head telling me that how I've handled things has been wrong and that I'm to blame for the pain and brokenness.  But when I heard the nice things from my friends, I've said things like, "Well, you just learn to be strong day by day."   Or something like, "It's been quite a learning curve." But I realized yesterday that I've missed an opportunity to speak